Paradise is Just a Bus (and another bus, and a ferry, and a tuk-tuk) Ride Away!

I’m no longer at the beach. Therefore, I am depressed.

Ko Si Chang this weekend was fantastic. We didn’t stay at the most glamorous place, but it was relatively cheap and was right up the street from Pan and David’s, a delicious restaurant that had REAL wine and REAL cheddar cheese. Hallelujah! Pretty sure we spent just as much at this restaurant as we did to stay in our hostel (hotel? bungalow?) for two nights.

Upon arriving on the Ko Loi ferry, which had its share of ups and downs (literally, causing Tara to become atrociously seasick), we took a tuk-tuk to Jeff’s Bungalows, up a steep and winding hill in a small community. We walked up to the bungalows, expecting there to be a check-in point—nope, not at Jeff’s. After about five minutes of wandering and wondering, an older woman walked up to us, opened our door, gave us towels and waters and sodas, and tried to tell us how much it cost, which we tried to understand in our broken Thai. Thirteen hundred baht? Two nights? Ok, ok, here’s 2000. Mai? Why mai? Ohhh, exact change. Chai chai chai…I pulled out 300 baht which, with my 1000, paid for the room. Tara owed me—for the room, for cleaning up her puke with my beach towel (she used all the laundry detergent before saying “oops, sorry, your towel…”), and for my hunger and sober state. Well, ok, the last two points may be an exaggeration. Whatev.

After eating fries, garlic bread, fried rice, and spaghetti—a carb feast that was too enjoyable to feel any guilt—and imbibing a few Leos and a Chang, I happily fell asleep with the intent of waking up and beaching it the whole next day. Which is exactly what we did.

8:30 am
Wake up. Get dressed. Watch trashy TV, in English! MTV shows!

10:00 am
Head to Pan and David’s. Eat waffles. Eat eggs. Drink espresso—oh my god, REAL espresso! Call tuk-tuk. Head to Haad Tham Pang.

11:30 am
Pick a table under the umbrellas. Order a Chang—big bottle, no can. Watch the rain—wait, RAIN?!?!?! That does not fit into my tanning plans. Eff you, rain. Go away!

12:30 pm
Hey, rain, thanks for listening! Sawasdee ka, sun! Oh, hey there, clear waters and warm sand! Checkbin, please. Kop kun kaaaaaa.

2:00 pm
Oh, Tara, you’re hungry? Mmm ok, I bet lunch won’t take too long. I want to continue to beach while the sun is still out

4:00 pm
One giant Chang, pad see ew, and a plate of wings later, still no checkbin. Damn. There goes the rest of my beach day. Must come back tomorrow.

4:15 pm
Back at the bungalow. Watching TV. The Office? Check. Greek? Oh hellz yes. Love my trashy TV, in Thailand, on a random island in the Gulf of Thailand. And relaxation. Yes, relaxation…

7:00 pm
Back to Pan and David’s. A glass of limeade, a glass of house red, a cheddar and veggie sandwich on a real baguette. Holy gee, so so good! I’m tired. We should head back, gotta wake up early tomorrow and catch the sun before it rains.

8:30 pm
Oh my god, Live Free or Die Hard is already on TV in Thailand?! Stay…awake…ok, maybe not. Go to sleep. Stop watching TV, you’re on an island.

9:00 am
Wake up. Get dressed. Pack. I don’t want to leave…

10:30 am
Pan and David’s yet again. Cheese and eggs and French pressed coffee. This is the best. Breakfast. Ever. Pay, call tuk-tuk. “Haad Tham Pang, sir!”

11:30 am
Wow, it’s really sunny today. The weather is perfect. What a nice breeze, beautiful water, perfect crowd. Hey, check out the monks on the beach! Take a picture. Lather up. iPod on. Chillax.

1:00 pm
Shit, the tuk-tuk driver is coming back in half an hour. Internally cry. Eat vegetable fried rice, grab a giant water for the road. Goodbye, beautiful beach.

2:00 pm
Thanks, tuk-tuk driver! I will assuredly keep your number for next time. Thank you for not overcharging us on our way back to the pier. Now we must head back to the mainland, back to the buses, back to Phanom, back to real life.

6:30 pm
Ugh, back in Phanom. Where’s the ocean? The sand? The view? I’m not happy. At least I didn’t bring back a sunburn. Til next time, Ko Si Chang, til next time.

Perhaps this beautiful weekend is the reason I was so cranky this morning. I yelled—literally screamed—at the EP 1 kids this morning to shut up and listen. I think I scared them. I’m probably no longer their favorite teacher. Well, perhaps they’ll listen to me now, instead of persuading me to jump rope in lieu of learning about occupations. Smart kids—they know the important things in life. Sanook, no? I left my sanook on the island. I must get it back. This weekend, perhaps…or maybe I’ll find some new sanook in another undiscovered part of this country. This beautiful, friendly, green, lush, sexy country.